I was in an airplane flying home to St. Louis, MO from Ft. Myers, FL. I had just facilitated the Understanding Yourself & Others course, a personal development experience. Facilitating this course has been the fulfillment of a dream in which I get to assist people in letting go of limiting beliefs standing in the way of the expression of their magnificence. I share this because my flights home from facilitating these weekends are opportunities to rest and reflect; which is exactly what I was doing. I was upgraded to first class and was listening to a meditation CD when the pilot made an announcement. I was very startled out of my trance!

I want to also mention that I have 3 sons and on September 11, 2001, they were 14, 11, and 10 years old. Whenever I travel home after a weekend course, I greet them as they come home from school on the bus. I had not seen them in six days, so I was really looking forward to greeting them with hugs and kisses.

The pilot’s announcement was that the President of the United States had declared an emergency because two planes had run into the Twin Towers and we would be turning around and going to the Atlanta airport where we had been instructed to land. We were requested to remain in our seats until we landed. As I looked around, I noticed that all the flight attendants were standing in the aisle as if it was rehearsed. I was very scared and nervous. We landed within the hour and as soon as we exited into the jetway, I called my former husband and father of our children to find out what was going on. He was relieved to hear from me and to know I was alright. He was not going to be able to be there when the boys got home because he was on “lock down” at his work.

I was aware of my fear, however I was also stunned and grateful for the way were being taken care of. We were given hotel vouchers and directions to a bus that would shuttle us to our hotel. For the amount of people at the airport, it was strangely quiet and without chaos. It was clear there were no more cars to rent and mass transportation was not running, so I was going to go to the hotel and deciding my next step from there.

The next person I called was my Mother. Needless to say, she was relieved to hear my voice as she did know I was traveling. True to her nature, she was ready to step in as needed. I asked my Mom to be at my house before the boys were due home, therefore assured that she would be there to greet them when they walked in the door. In the meantime, I spoke with a dear friend who was on her way to pick me and drive me home. This was an 8 hour trip for her.

About 5 minutes before I knew Trevor (11) would arrive home from school I called my Mom so that he could talk with me right away. I could hear him running in the door and before Mom could say anything, he demanded, “Where is my Mom?” I could hear the fear in his voice. Mom handed him the phone and we talked for about 10 minutes relieving his fears about my safety. I cried almost the entire phone call. Then Drew (10) came home and while I didn’t hear him running in the door, nor was he afraid about where I was – he was unaware of what was going on in the world. In talking with Drew, I could tell he was now worried and most concerned about how soon I would be home. Lastly, Bobby (14) came home. He was happy to talk with me, knew what was going on in the world and intuitively knew I was alright. He was curious about all the details of the events of my day.

My friend arrived around 1:00 am. After a restless night of sleep, we left early in the morning. I noticed something interesting as we drove toward St. Louis. I was feeling extremely anxious, close to a panic attack. I was a passenger. I realized how out of control I was feeling, so in order to feel better I tried driving. It worked, I felt better! From this position, I could talk about my fears of the day, how much I wanted to be with my sons and I cried a lot. So I found something to control so that I could stop controlling my feelings. This brought a lot of relief and allowed me to become more present. I arrived home before school was out.

Let me tell you that I was immensely grateful the moment in which each of my sons walked in the door. I hugged them, kissed them, hugged them again, sat and talked and asked them questions and fixed our favorite meal and basically did not let them out of sight for the entire evening! Bobby was simply grateful I was alright and very sad about all the families affected by the deaths in New York and Washington, D.C. Trevor requested that I not travel for a while. He wasn’t sure how long, but I was willing to honor that request as much for him as for me. Drew requested that when I did travel again, that he receive a phone call from me before I took off and immediately after I landed.

Ten years ago I had my eyes and heart opened. I saw how life can change in one instant and that it may not necessarily be in my control. What is in my control are my feelings and they deserve to be listened to and honored. I feel immense love for my family, my friends, for people. I empathized with those that lost on that day and grateful for my freedom to go home and hug my loved ones. I will never take my family and loved ones for granted. I will cherish every moment I have with them and make sure I am present to them. I am committed to seeing the magnificence in every person no matter their behavior as well as assisting them to discover, honor and express that magnificence.

So, will you take a tragedy such as 9/11/01 and learn to love more, honor more, empathize more and commit to caring more? I do and I will.

I happened to wake up the other day in my apartment in Maryland with an obscure Rush song in my head (“Tears”, from the album 2112).  Rush isn’t known for writing love songs, and when they do it’s often in metaphor, so this very pretty song about seasons and reasons explores the sad side of love.

All of the seasons and all of the days
All of the reasons why I’ve felt this way
So long…
So long

Then lost in that feeling I looked in your eyes
I noticed emotion and that you had cried
For me
I can see

What would touch me deeper…
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes that know why?

A lifetime of questions, tears on your cheek
I tasted the answers and my body was weak
For you
The truth

What would touch me deeper…
Tears that fall from eyes that only cry?
Would it touch you deeper
Than tears that fall from eyes that know why?

Only moments after I awoke with Rush in my head, my childhood friend who lives in France sent me a recording of the latest song that he wrote called “All of the Reasons.”  The opening lines in his song mention seasons and reasons.

All of the reasons
All of the rhymes
All of the seasons
And all the lonely times

Then, before leaving for work just a couple of hours later, a close friend in Virginia sent me an email that happened to include lyrics to a song.  Coincidentally, they are also Rush lyrics (“Fly by Night”, from the album Fly by Night), and they are the only other Rush lyrics that mention seasons and reasons in the same song.  However, this time the seasons and reasons talk about life’s changes instead of love.  (Or do they?)

Start a new chapter
Find what I’m after
It’s changing every day

The change of a season
Is enough of a reason
To want to get away

Then, on my drive into work, I heard from my friend in Arizona, who works at the Phoenician Resort, and she told me that the members of Rush are staying at the resort because they were playing a show in Phoenix that night.  Coincidentally, about two months ago I was offered (and politely turned down) a job at that resort, so it occurred to me that instead of going to work in Maryland that morning, I could have been in Arizona making scrambled eggs for my heroes.  Ah, life.

And finally, after arriving at work, I received an email from Pam inviting me (and all of you) to the next Your Infinite Life course and the opportunity to explore love.  Though I may describe these events as coincidental, I believe that everything happens for a reason.  To that end, all of these things happening in the span of just a few hours—and from friends across the globe—led me to one unavoidable question: What awesome lesson do I get to learn today?!

The many references to seasons and reasons in one single morning came as I am passing through a period of introspection in my life.  I have recently been struggling with feeling “way too much” in my heart, and it has pushed people away because I tend to come on too strong or too passionately for their comfort.  Yet, at the same time, I have simultaneously experienced other relationships dissolve because, as I was accused, I wasn’t putting in an effort or enough interest.  So I find myself squeezed between two opposing forces.  On one hand, I want to put my love out there to the world, regardless of whether it will be accepted or not.  Yet on the other hand, I want to honor others’ sensitivities by not smothering them with an abundance of love.  To love with honesty and openness or to love with restraint and compassion?  Ah, el amor…what to do, what to do.

A year ago I experienced The Heartbreak of my life, at least in regards to romantic relationships.  It was a long, slow road back from that place—one that cost me sleepless nights, countless tears, and many trying phone calls to friends and family members who warily but lovingly watched over me as I swam in my misery.  I pretended that I was better; I tried on various disguises of strength, resilience, and aloofness.  I failed at each. 

Then suddenly one day about a month ago, I had a revelation.  I don’t need to stop feeling that love in order to be over Janelle.  In fact, I can always hold a place in my heart for the love that I felt with and for Janelle because it was a chapter of my life that was just as emotionally important as graduating from a school or experiencing the loss of my grandfather.  Just as the graduation has passed, and just as my grandfather is no longer here, my journey with Janelle has ended.  Of course I wish that those things could have lasted longer, but what I had long known instinctively with other aspects of my life was what I was just beginning to grasp with Janelle and my relationships in general: wishing will keep me stuck. 

Wishing to have Janelle back is trying to make the future what the past already was.  I can’t go forward by going backward.  So by choosing instead to see my relationship as something finite, I can safely put it behind me and look back on it fondly when I want to, just as I do with all of my memories.  And now I can look forward to new experiences, new relationships, and new love with an open heart and clarity.

So in the end, and as a result of my shift in perspective, I’m able to honor that I have a lot of love to give without attaching judgment to whether it’s accepted or not.  My seasons and reasons are brighter, healthier, happier, and simply better because of the lesson that the Universe wanted me to learn.  And my friends and family all over the world—including you, dear reader—have brought that message to me.

 Wishing you love and happiness,

Paul Muirhead

Just before each school year, we draw oracle cards. We ask for insight into what the year’s goal will be. Mine for this year was, “Yes!” I realized, in shock, that I wasn’t truly focused on the standard question. I was really searching for direction: was I REALLY leaving my school? I can tell you now that I am amazed at how many times “yes” has appeared for my recognition – too many to count! It has become funny in that I can see that “yes” appears as a reminder at the moment I begin to doubt.

Before Thanksgiving, I had a few experiences and “arrows” froom God saying, “Time to go!”  I strangled on it, Andrew (my brother-in-law) quite literally poking me in the back saying, “so when are you moving to college?”, my husband just laughing at me and saying, “GO!”  I developed a string of canker sores across the back of my tongue and running down my throat.  I couldn’t talk, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep.  I read and prayed and drew from my card deck.  Again, “YES” almost mocking me with the regularity of arrival.  I actually flattened the card between books, convinced I had somehow marked or warped the card.

I laugh at me.  I recall what was said in Journey to Your Soul’s Magnificence – What a Difference a Year Makes – don’t seek to uncover the truth, seek to uncover the self deceptions.

So, on the drive to Indiana for Thanksgiving, I continuously sprayed my throat with numbing medication and marveled at the age of 3G.  I searched and searched and searched for resources on my iPhone, via the internet.  How to write a syllabus.  How to plan a course.  How to interview at the University level.  I read, took notes, highlighted, ordered books.  I emailed and posted on Facebook to friends who teach at that level, asking for any input, suggestions, or advice.  My throat sores went away.

Then, two days later, one of my friends texted, “CALL ME!”

We connected via phone and he told me his department had a few people retiring and he had been thinking of me.  He saw my contact on Facebook as the hand of God.  He wanted me to meet with the department chair.  He thought I’d be perfect for the job.  I asked questions, probed, discussed, and my husband and sister literally danced around me as I took notes from my friend.  We drove back to San Antonio the day before Thanksgiving.  I wrote notes for my Educational Philosophy in the car.  When we were home, I hurriedly updated my resume.  The day after Thanksgiving, I phoned my friend again, emailed him my resume, and set up an informal meeting with the department chair of St. Mary’s University, San Antonio.

It went brilliantly.  I thought I’d hand over my resume, tell them how I thought I’d be great for the job, and then we’d shake hands and set up an interview.  Instead, I was there for more than two hours, talking with them.  My friend took me on a tour of the university.  I went to TWO meetings with two different people.  I was introduced to some of the students.  It was amazing!  The Department Chair told me they planned to have the post formally open by mid-January and filled by mid-March.

Questioning (will I ever learn?), I came home, talked with my husband, prayed, and shuffled my cards.  I don’t need to tell you what the first card was.  I will tell you I also got the “teacher” card and “creativity.”

I began buying books on how to plan, how to create, how to “improve”, how to formally rate at the university level.  My sister and I met over the winter break and we researched every two and four year college in the San Antonio and surrounding areas.  We made a spread sheet.  We mapped and documented.  It felt so POSITIVE. 

I kept dreawing the “yes” card.

My sister and I met at the start of the new year and created vision boards.  I specifically focused mine on St. Mary’s. I also printed out a bunch of small cards featuring St. Mary’s icon/logo.  I posted them all over my house, in my car, and I hid them in various places in my classroom where I would see them frequently (but they would not pull focus from my students).  I smile and feel grateful every time I pass one.  I scanned the “yes” card and made it the faceplate of my cell phone.

Now back to work, I took a Friday off and spent the day investigating the colleges for application methods, job postings, degree requirements, and the names of Deans and Dept. Chairs.  I spent time creating a curriculum vitae, formally updating my resume, writing my educational philosophy, and creating cover letters.  I also wrote my professional bio to go on a university web page. I asked my sister to edit my work, then sent letters to the Dept. Chair at St. Mary’s and my friend.  I thanked my friend for his support and told him how excited I was about this potential position.  I told the dept. chair of my wishes for a new position and how I thought St. Mary’s would be a wonderful fit.  I thanked them both for their time in December and renewed my wishes to be notified when the position was officially opened so I could formally apply.

In February, I received a message on my phone.  The Dept. Chair told me, via the message, that he thought I would be a perfect fit and that they needed me.  The department is in a state of change and he wants me to come in and “shake things up.”  I freaked out.  Literally.  I called my sister and she calmed me down.  We came up with a plan: I should call him back! So I did.

I has been off and on.  His sense of timing isn’t mine (or my school’s).  I’m learning to relax and let go, trust.  I began visualizing teaching private students, interviewing, and him hiring me across the table.  It felt silly, but I visualized ordering the textbooks and how I’d learn my new students’ names. I visualized setting at lunch in the breezeway of the building and walking in new, professional looking shoes.

I met with him about a month ago and signed papers.  I’ve now got a parking pass for the university and I’ve resigned, effective the end of the school year, with my district. I’ve run the “Commitment” meditation from Journey to Your Soul’s Magnificence by Pamela Dunn, with my current campus in mind, and now I’m planning specific courses for St. Mary’s.

This has all occurred in what appears to be a magical way without all the regular formalities.  This has all happened because I took charge of my magnificence and the power of change.  I asked specifically for what I wanted, then created it.  I am terrified, with the emphasis on the “terrific” side of the term, and so very blissfully happy.

You can too!  Kimberly

Upon arrival to the museum, you walk along the sidewalk of the original Lorraine Motel where Martin Luther King, Jr. (MLK) was shot.  There is a wreath that hangs on the balcony.  As soon as I approached, I was in tears.  Such a tragic event, such an amazing man; all FELT in this moment of standing so close to the location.  I was at once honored to have the experience of being there and excited to experience the museum.

As you enter the beginning of the journey, there is a film to watch.  It is an opportunity to hear from several civil rights leaders.  One of my favorite quotes during the movie was, “Movements don’t begin with movements, movements begin with individuals.”  So very important!  Each one of us is responsible for moving in the direction of what we love and pouring our love into that passion.  This is a movement.  The civil rights movement is formed by any and all individuals committed to honoring the rights of all, including themselves.

I spent the next 4 hours reading, listening, laughing and often crying as I walked through the experience.  If you have never attended, I HIGHLY recommend going because it is an experience.  Part of the experience for me was listening to all the people around me.  There was an elder African American woman that kept the same pace as I did and she shared stories with her friend of experiences she had growing up and how they mirrored what the museum experience was telling.  I found myself crying with her many times as I empathized with how it must have felt to be a young girl, so sweet and innocent, not understanding the discord around her.  As a young girl, I was called names because my parents supported the first African American man in the city of Chicago running for Congress.

There was a family walking through the experience that I was with often.  The first time I was present to them was on the bus that Rosa Parks rode that infamous day she refused to go to the back.  There was a life size replica of her in the seat she chose.  There was a young girl, about 6-7 years old, carefully checking out her glasses, book, and touching her, even though the sign said, “Do Not Touch!”  Her older sister reprimanded her, at which moment this young girl asked, “Who is she?”  I loved listening to her older sister explain as she read the information out loud.  The mother also did a beautiful job of talking about each of the displays and answering her kids’ questions.  What was fascinating to me was the clear fact that these children are not prejudice, nor are they subjected to it, and quite frankly, they didn’t quite understand it.  The young girl kept asking why anyone would hit someone – the teenage boy found it “crazy” that in MLK’s jail cell he would have to go to the bathroom so close to his bed.  Another father was explaining to his little girl why people would spray water from a fire hose on a bunch of kids, “was it fun on a hot day?” she asked so innocently.  It was then that I realized we have truly moved into another era.

MLK’s movement for equal rights is still valuable and important.  It is the catalyst for so many and vitally important to our historical education.  And now is the time for us to cooperate with our brilliance, with our magnificence.  Part of the reason why those young people cannot imagine why someone would treat or be treated so harshly is because they are seen as magnificent by those around them AND they see that in others as well.  While it is true that there is still discrimination and prejudice, if we begin to focus on seeing ourselves and others as magnificent, discrimination and prejudice will someday be a non-issue.

This type of thinking and feeling does not blind us to issues of bullying, prejudice and violence, it helps us see a bigger picture.  The bigger picture of knowing that those bullies, criminals, prejudice people are much bigger than their limited thinking and beliefs.  They act out because they don’t see that in themselves.  That is one of the many things MLK and Rose Parks taught us – to see ourselves as magnificent – because when you do, you will not harm others or yourself.

Thank you to the National Civil Rights Museum for the beautiful experience.  Thank you to everyone on the tour this weekend that I had the privilege to experience.  Thank you to Martin Luther King, Jr. and every person committed to equality.  Thank you to our next generation for seeing yourself and others as magnificent.

Pamela Dunn

Thoughts shift quickly into other circumstances and I’m in front of Carol—the teacher at Piper’s pre-school—she is describing the pause.  “If we could just slow down – even the way we walk is fast,” she says.  She bent her body as she talked to exaggerate the flow of “the pause” with an innocent grin on her face.  How tender to witness!!

Passing my neighborhood I see someone walking very fast talking on his cell phone.   He may want to consider slowing down or he is going to miss the most precious spaces in his life, the space that can only be felt when in the pause.  I pray he feels himself.

My chest fills up with breath and I notice the sweetness in my friend’s eyes while also hearing the drain in her voice.  I wonder if she knows her value.    

I notice the pain in my own voice as I say out loud while driving past a cemetery, “Dad I am very angry with you for not connecting, for not being present to me, for dropping off the planet and leaving me.”

I cry but desperately want to hide the depth of my feelings. I bear witness to the tendency to hold my own breath to avoid the self judgment I feel when I go deep into my anger.  I forget to be sweet to myself.  I acknowledge my own ability to disappear.  I become vulnerable.  I decide to consciously breathe having the courage and strength to stand in my own pain.

I expand into the miracle of my tender self.  I stay connected.

Piper runs in while Francesca is playing in the snow and tells me, “I found a butterfly.  I thought it was fake.”

“Show me!!”

In the downstairs basement door runner was a beautiful tiger swallowtail butterfly in our house in the “dead” of winter.  The internet said he should be hibernating.

Francesca prays to have an animal to pour her love into.  Her prayers are answered.  She feeds him, he crawls on her, and they share connectedness as they pause, bend and flow together.  He decides it’s ok to fly, he feels safe, transformation happen before my eyes.

MIRACLES.  

 Nikki Valenti is a visionary intuitive who bridges the gap between spirituality and our physical world. Like other executive officers in charge of the vision and strategy for the different facets of their business, I am a Chief Spirituality Officer who can assist the creative process through information I am able to download from other dimensions of energy and parallel realities. My abilities and talents provide a necessary component to evolve people and our planet through higher consciousness tools and techniques. Through the translation of energy, I am able to help innovation advancements in technologies, science, medicine and human evolution in a tangible form.

This is a quote from Viktor Frankl’s book Man’s Search for Meaning. Viktor Emil Frankl was born in 1905, in Vienna Austria. Frankl earned a medical degree from the University of Vienna in 1930 and was put in charge of a Vienna hospital ward for the treatment of females who had attempted suicide. In 1942, Frankl married his first wife, Tilly Grosser. Nine months later, Frankl, his wife and his parents were deported to the Theresienstadt camp, near Prague. Frankl would survive four camps including Auschwitz. Frankl’s wife, his parents, and other members of his family died in the concentration camps. Viktor Frankl returned to Vienna after the war, and wrote his book based on notes he made during his incarceration. The foundation of Frankl’s legacy is; we always have the ability to choose, no matter the biological, or environmental forces.

Man’s Search for Meaning sold over 9 million copies in the USA alone, and was ranked amongst the 10 most influential books. Frankl wrote more than 30 books after this. He died in Vienna, in 1997.
In the courses by Your Infinite Life Training & Coaching Company, we refer to Man’s Search for Meaning in the Learning and Protection segment at the beginning of all of our programs. We state that between stimulus and response there is a gap. The gap is a time slot where we are free to decide how we would like to respond to any kind of stimulus.

A very recognizable example is, while driving, a car tries to cut you of. How do you respond? Is that response how you want to respond? How does it make you feel about yourself, about the world? Do you feel powerful or are you giving way to an expression of power that you would prefer NOT to? We often convince ourselves that we are not in charge nor responsible for our response, because it is the others that “made” us react in a certain way; “If that guy would only have stayed in his lane, I would not have reacted that way.” When we look back at it, we know that it is not that guy who made us do anything, we are the ones that decide to respond in a certain way.

By being more and more aware that we are in charge of our responses and that we can choose how to respond, we can create the relationships that we want more often. Imagine being in a nasty fight with your partner and taking a time out to look at the situation and to ask yourself, “what do I really want in this situation?” Often the answer shall be “I want to create closeness.” Next question “How do I create closeness in this moment?” These two questions widen the gap between stimulus and response – they give you time to choose your response, they give you time to choose from your magnificence.

Viktor Frankl stood in the light of evil and decided to stay human. Because the last dignity that he had was the freedom to choose his own thoughts.

By Inge Michielsen-Hondmann

Recently I’ve been spending a fair amount of time writing blogs and socializing on social media, largely to promote my upcoming book on cross-cultural marriage. The big launch is December 3, 2010 and I’m going to Japan to experience becoming an author. I was hesitant at first to leave my kids for about 10 days to go out of the country, but I talked to my husband and he agreed with me on “The first time only happens once.”

So I am busy making connections with people in my country, and Facebook is a wonderful tool to do that. Facebook has become very popular this summer after the Japanese interface was developed, and because of that, the type of people who currently use Facebook are skewed – they are curious about new things, often entrepreneurial or business minded, leading very active lives, and certainly not shy. They are energetic, positive, kind, enthusiastic and inclusive. Apart from teaching the Redirecting Children’s Behavior course and one-on-one coaching, I spend most of my working hours in a solitary activity such as thinking or writing. Because of my limited human interaction, networking on Facebook has a tremendous positive impact on me. It may sound funny to some of you, but I get motivated by what I see on Facebook every single day.

If you live by yourself, or do not have a regular job in which you physically see people everyday, your life could get lonely. Facebook could be a tool to help a person from feeling less isolated or alone. If someone posts “I’m feeling sick today” on his status update, someone else may post immediately “Are you ok?” or “Take care!” You will have a conversation on Facebook with real people with blood and warmth.

You might say “but it’s just a connection on-line. It’s virtual, not real”. Well, nowadays the difference between virtual and real is getting more and more blurred. I have met with some of them in person. We get closer much quicker in those “meet-ups,” because we feel like we’ve known each other for a long time. I have spoken with some Facebook friends over Skype or had an on-line chat. I have also met many people who find me and my work interesting, and those who want to support me. One guy offered to organize a small get-together upon my visit/return to Japan in December. Another volunteered to arrange a venue in Tokyo so I could do a seminar in Japan. This may not have happened (at least so quickly) without Facebook. Along with Twitter, Facebook is a tool where you can find people who support you and cultivate your Tribe, a concept Seth Godin explains in his book “Tribes.”

Even for those who will come over to the U.S. to be with their foreign partners (which is the theme of my upcoming book), I suggest that they get on Facebook and start making friends in the area they will be living in the future. Frequent interactions tend to lead to on-line friendships and more often than not, eventually, real person-to-person relationships.

Moreover, I also believe that Facebook is changing Japanese people’s mindset. It is telling us that it is okay to be you. It is okay to be who you are, and you will eventually find someone who will like you for who you are, share your hopes and dreams, and encourage and support you. Never before have we had such a powerful medium for communication. In Japan, there is a social networking site called Mixi, in which people can participate without ever revealing anything real about themselves. Facebook, however, is different in my opinion. In Facebook, you could still stay anonymous, but you get so much more if you show up as you and share yourself with the world.

I think it’s a wonderful thing. You can be you and people still like you. I think about my kids growing up in this age of Facebook – they will find all kinds of inspiration. This must have been what a library did for people a long time ago – you can get to know famous people who did great things and learn from them through their books. Now it’s all right there at their fingertips, and even better, you are able to experience a relationship with people and interact with them in real-time and make history together! Everyone – including a “not-so-popular-in-school” kid will find his or her place. The Internet, specifically tools like Facebook, is showing us that there are many ways to stand out and shine.

Just as a side note, I recommend watching the movie “The Social Network.” It is a fast paced, very engaging movie based on the book The Accidental Billionaires – The Founding of Facebook A Tale of Sex, Money, Genius and Betrayal discussing the history behind how Facebook was created. What actually happened (whether Mark Zuckerberg stole the idea or not) are left up to people’s interpretation, but whatever the case may be, I am grateful for Facebook and the brilliant people who had this vision and made it happen.

By Etsuko Tsukagoshi

On Saturday, September 4, at 1pm, I held the evidence, I held Your Kept Promise, in my arms. My beautiful brother Roger, back from the non-life of cocaine addiction, wrapped me up in his strong, gentle arms with his son Adam watching from the porch and our sister Rebecca joining us.

All the famous sacred books talk about miracles. My family is in the cradle of one of Your best! I know You were proud of parting the Red Sea. I know water into wine and walking on water got better press. But bringing the Golsbys back together, happily in my home, after losing our sister and both parents within six years and nearly losing our brother belongs in the sequel. Maybe I’ll write it.

As that weekend approached, the immensity of all of it began to hit me. I did not know such tremendous transformation—of an entire family—was actually possible. As much as I relished becoming Adam’s parent after Mom died, there were many times when I felt acutely the responsibility of having him—especially the financial part. But now, his father, my beloved youngest brother, is not only financially present, but I can get him on the phone! Last week when I was driving to New Orleans and the transmission overheated I called him and he told me how to put in fluid! I made it to my dinner there and back and have not had any trouble since.

I never allowed myself the luxury of expecting my brother to come back fully. I hoped for it. After Adam and I saw him at Christmas and he looked so terrible, well I was just distraught, as you, uh, know. And then the hilarious coincidence when my friend left her cell phone here after a Saints party and her friend the drug counselor called and I answered and she told me to change how I thought and spoke about my brother. She said since he had gone to rehab voluntarily that meant he wanted to get well. So Adam and I started telling people he was in the early stages of recovery. In less than two months he had moved 200 miles away from our home town to a new city and new, clean, healthy friends!

You don’t mess around do you! When we line up our sparks of Divinity with yours and it hits the big Love energy its…well hell I don’t know how to describe it. (Sorry about saying hell.)

I have been so immensely blessed these past five years! Now it is all coming together in bigger ways than I ever dared to dream. I feel that every hurt, every disappointment, every sadness of my life has been healed. I did not know that all this work, trust, and faith would lead to this. I did not know that this new, divine landscape of the heart could exist for me and my family, but it does! This pure love is our new reality.

I had forgotten about my life long habit of protecting myself inside my own family. But in the weeks leading up to the Labor Day gathering of the four grown living children of Ralph and Sue Golsby, and our families, I noticed a big shift had occurred. Adam and I have taken Your Infinite Life’s classes, but the entire family was impacted. As we planned the weekend we could feel the energies on the phone. This new way of kind and gentle closeness, which Adam and I have been practicing for five years, is happening naturally now with all of us, most of the time.

You know, G-d, one of your wisest moves was pairing up people to fall in love who have things to learn from each other. Carefully watching my mouth so as to avoid the dog house here, my relationship with my amazing sweetheart has caused me to learn patience, and as close as I can probably get to humility. This commitment, and the learning and most of all, unfettered joy that flows from this amazing relationship, has affected every area of my life. So thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Thank you for my sweetheart. Thank you for my brother Roger, my brother John, my sister Rebecca, John’s wife Julie, my niece Harper, my nephew Ian, my nephew who is like my son, Adam. Thank you for my cat, thank you for my toes, thank you for my home, my friends, my clients. Thank you for the squirrel across the street and the nut in its hands. Thank you for LIFE, Dear G-d, and for the fact that I know, live, and am shouting from the mountaintops that YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISES!
Love,
Marsanne

The Dalai Lama refers to compassion as a practice.  Rather than an innate trait that we either possess or do not possess, we cultivate our compassion, our desire for others to be free from suffering.  Crucial to the practice of compassion is a sense of connectedness, “a sense of endearment to others,” the understanding that we are all connected.  With practice “others are seen almost as an extension of yourself, as part of you.” 

 My passion is to infuse the concepts and teachings of Your Infinite Life Training & Coaching Company into government.  I envision a cabinet level Department of Peace with The Peaceful Project Program as one of its flagship programs.  I envision a government of compassion.  Yet I found myself here at the local level of government in the midst of mid-term elections feeling frustrated and angry with a candidate who was using intimidation in her campaign.  At the polls, members of her team were in the faces of her opponents’ mothers and wives – friends of mine – screaming obscenities.  Men were verbally abusing women.  A member of her team was seen stealing opponent’s campaign signs, a felony.  I began thinking, “How can I possibly influence those in our federal government – those who are not only dealing with one another but also with entire nations, with terrorists, with wars and with blame on a global level – to exercise compassion when I had no compassion for this candidate here at the local level?”           

 With her campaign’s use of aggression and force, it was easy to envision a future that I did not want if she won the election – at worst, an acceptance of violence by someone in government and at best, no ally for our community.  It was easy to judge these events and call them “her tactics.”  It was easy to figurately stomp my feet thinking, “I do NOT want someone like this representing me.”  It was easy to jump on the band wagon and create an enemy.  Because each of those steps – all of them great examples of blame – undermined the sense of connectedness and created separation, it became impossible to talk to her or about her without becoming intimidating myself.  I wasn’t at the polls screaming at opponents, for sure.  I also didn’t have the flexibility and creativity to hold a meaningful conversation with her that might make a difference.  I didn’t have compassion.  As the Dalai Lama says, “A compassionate attitude opens our inner door, and as a result it is much easier to communicate with others.  If there is too much self-centered attitude, then fear, doubt and suspicion come and as a result our inner door closes. Then it is very difficult to communicate with others.”  Developing a compassionate attitude is “widening the gap,” a powerful tool introduced in Your Infinite Life courses. 

 To move beyond this limiting place, I “widened the gap” by taking suggestions from the Buddhist meditation on compassion, in which “one of the elements is to cultivate a view, a perception, of all beings as someone very dear to you.  One model that is used is to view all of them as your teachers, or as your mother.”  Today I looked at how this candidate is my teacher.  Today I practiced compassion in politics. 

 I am much more practiced with compassion with my family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.  Their “dearness” is alive in me.  In politics, my direct experience with practicing compassion in the face of violence had been minimal.  “The impact our actions have on our close ones will generally be much greater than on others, and therefore our responsibilities toward them are greater.  Yet we need to recognize that, ultimately, there are no grounds for discriminating in their favor: all beings equally deserve our compassion.” 

 In feeling compassion, I did not condone what she or those in her campaign chose to do.  In moving through my initial reaction towards her, I began to see her as dear to me, and I valued her well-being.  I wondered what force in her life left her believing that aggression was her best or only option.  I felt curious rather than distrustful.  I no longer felt consumed by these events.  I became a caring observer.  “Compassion immediately instills in you a sense of calm, inner strength, and a deep confidence and satisfaction.”  I had gained the confidence to speak with her and to listen.

 The discomfort and separation experienced by those on the receiving end of the aggression was more plainly evident than hers.  The biggest element, though, in my practice of compassion was realizing her lack of connectedness.  She felt outside the community, and that is sad for everyone.

Today I practiced compassion in politics on a local level.  I am truly indebted to my teacher, who unknowingly prepared me to take the next big step, whatever it might be, compassionately.

Compassionately,  Maggie Macaulay